A POEM TO CELEBRATE THE SPRING

& DIANE ROTHENBERG’S BIRTHDAY

20.iii.2022, redux

 

in celebration of your day

a birth day

which also is spring the equinox

a quarter’s separation from my time near

the winter solstice

hunter in my own head

(candle candle)

of the ram in thicket

fisher in pools of Hebron

you between the water & the sky

memory of our bodies in the water

summer night we found

deserted beaches in Virgin Islands

(who was a virgin then?)

the stars ran through our hands

like gods we walked

our story written in celestial alphabets

bright alephs

burnt in my mind or yours

a message     you will live

forever you will never die

 

. . . . . . .

2

what if the memory starts at

this point like a sound

the unspeakable god contracted to a breath

endures    extends    is taken

into aether

doesn’t die

the way that an angel speaking

speaks an angel

into life

o logos

material reproduction of the gods

the function of whose worshippers

through song

is pleasure    paradise

I move inside you

(you in me)

the continuity is so intense

death only interrupts it

briefly

 

. . . . . . .

3

back to the Bronx it travels

with us

how could I know you were

the most amazing

girl with massed hair of 1946

the New Year

myself with pompadour

struggled with steps I hardly knew

still counted numbers

whether as dance   or poem   o   fox  trots  rhumbas  sensations

     of the lindy

in living rooms too tight for

conversations

crowds of children

all come back to mind

when summoned

hallucinations or wet dreams

mysteries still out of reach

were like countries to be traveled

houses to be lived in

“doubt” the voice says “a condition”

over 60 years beyond

first choice of my childhood

whether to go on living

as I wanted

but was always afraid death would call me back

for which we curse

fathers    mothers

who placed us on the wheel

we who turn the wheel ourselves

turn it into birth

not knowing

knowing if it’s better

to have been born or not

that only a small light takes us through

the darkness     nature of the universe

death that can make a mystery of love

 

. . . . . . .

4

[addendum 2022]

 

at the edge of death

(now summoned)

the mind recoils

feeling the car doors close

the shrunken bodies wrapped

in overcoats

we hold each other close

the end of time approaching

& the lights askew

so many years & now

the others gone before us

wait    the silence

still awaits us

& the faces of the dead & living

are now equal

“take my hand in yours”

again    again

the truth of birthdays

is the final truth

while the world remains

unsure    unsung

the deaths of millions

needless

once again

a cruel nirvana

hovers over all

the way it was before

& always was

although we cry against it

fighting to find our way

across the years

our dying century

where only our love still binds us

still alive

& constant until death